Funniest Five Momfinitions

Not that I don't have a million things to do these days as I am deep in the middle of a client deadline, but I saw this tweet from TwitterMoms and I couldn't resist.

It's a contest to name five "momfinitions" hosted by ParentsConnect.

Here are mine which I scribbled on the back of a napkin while waiting for my youngest to get called into the Peds office this afternoon:

1. Package (noun Pa-Kedge) - The discreet term for the pile of smelly poop your toddler has left in her diaper as in...

"Honey, um, can you take the baby? I think she just delivered a package."

2. Hamper Rummage (verb) - The act of scouring through the hamper in search of a pair of "cleanish" socks or decent half smelly pair of shorts, which you then proceed to shake loose and then run through the dryer with a dryer sheet for a few minutes.

Explanation:

It's a practice you usually only resort to the morning of laundry day. Sometimes, you're just out of clean clothes for the kids and you just didn't anticipate that there wouldn't be anything left to throw on them for summer camp that day. That is when you hold your head high and do the "hamper rummage"

3. Rear-view Mirror Evil Eye ( noun) - That knowing, "you're going to get it if you make me stop this miniVan and have to pull over and go back there" look that you pass to your misbehaving kids acting up in the back seats.

Sentence:

So I figured out the reason Caitlin was wailing was that Aidan was actually pinching her in the back of her neck. Well, yeah. You know he stopped "real quick" when I shot him the Rear View Mirror Evil Eye!

4. Lunch Box Lefties - (noun) The stuff the kids don't eat for lunch and return home but doesn't get discovered until the next day when you're packing that day's lunch. You have to throw "the lunch box lefties" out because they usually include all the healthy perishable items like string cheese, yogurt or grapes.

and finally

5. One Arm Mommy/Daddy - (noun) That is the Mythical creature that every mom or dad turns into when whilst driving and have one hand on the steering wheel, he/she has to reach the other arm around to the back row to grab a toy on the floor to pass to a crying baby... or to give a misbehaving kid a firm tap on the leg to quit kicking the back of your seat!

Sentence:

"Yup, so I just couldn't take her whining for that cracker any longer and had to pull a "One arm Mommy" and get it for her off the floor. Oh, you bet I gave it back to her. It was the last one in the pack. We were almost home."

Hope you enjoyed these.

If you want to enter the contest, and Please Visit the TwitterMoms page here.

July Festivals and Special Events in DC area

July Festivals and Special Events in the Washington, DC Area

From About.com

The Washington, DC area and its surrounding communities in Maryland and Virginia host lots of annual festivals and special events. All dates, prices, and activities mentioned are subject to change, so please check the official web site or call to confirm information. Please note that most of these events are held each year and the dates are updated as available.

Free Summer Concerts
Find concert schedules for family entertainment throughout the month in various destinations around Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia.

Outdoor Movies in the Washington, DC Area
Watching movies on a large screen outdoors has become a popular summer activity. Find the schedules of outdoor movie festivals in Washington, DC, Maryland and Northern Virginia

Smithsonian Folklife Festival
June 24-June 28 and July 1-5, 2009. Celebrate cultural traditions from around the world. The Festival includes daily and evening music and dance performances, crafts and cooking demonstrations, storytelling and discussions of cultural issues. This is one of Washington, DC’s most popular summer events.

Artomatic
Through July 5, 2009. The one-of-a-kind art extravaganza features regional artists and performances including paintings, sculpture, photography, music, theater, poetry, dance and workshops.

AT & T National Golf Tournament
June 29 - July 5, 2009. Congressional Country Club, Bethesda, Maryland. The PGA Tour, hosted by Tiger Woods, is a first class event featuring 120 top golf professionals competing at one of the highest-ranked courses in the country.

National Harbor Fireworks and SummerFest
July 3, 2009. Gaylord National Resorts kicks off the July 4th weekend with an outdoor festival with live entertainment and fireworks. Admission is $5.

Fourth of July Fireworks in the Washington DC Area
Find 4th of July fireworks and Independence Day celebrations on the National Mall and around the capital region in Maryland and Virginia.

Independence Day at Mount Vernon
July 4, 2009. The Red, White and Blue event features musical performances, a wreathlaying ceremony, free birthday cake for all (while supplies last) and a visit by 'General Washington' himself.

4th of July Parades in DC, Maryland and Northern Virginia
Many communities in the area celebrate the holiday with a parade. Show your patriot spirit and enjoy a few hours of family fun.

Hip Hop Theatre Festival
July 6-12, 2009. Enjoy a variety of performances of both new and established hip hop music by national and international artists.

Summer Tennis Tournaments
July 7-26, 2009. The Washington Kastles begin their second season of Advanta World TeamTennis (WTT), bringing live tennis tournaments to Washington, DC.

Capital Fringe Festival
July 9 - 26, 2009. This annual performing arts festival will feature more than 120 unique performances in 20 venues around Washington, DC.

Alexandria Birthday and Independence Day Fireworks
July 11, 2009, Oronoco Bay Park. The annual event includes children’s activities, a concert performed by the Alexandria Symphony Orchestra, birthday cake and a fireworks extravaganza.

Grand Reopening of Ford's Theatre Museum
July 15, 2009. The newly renovated museum will use 21st-century technology to transport visitors back in time to the 19th-century. The museum’s collection of historic artifacts will be supplemented with a variety of narrative devices—environmental recreations, videos and three-dimensional figures.

Screen on the Green
Mondays, July 20-August 10, 2009. Watch classic movies on a large screen on the National Mall. Bring the whole family out for an evening of fun under the stars.

White House Summer Garden Tour
2009 Dates to be Announced, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Visit the White House grounds and explore the beautiful gardens. Free tickets are required.

Comcast Outdoor Film Festival in Alexandria
July 17-18, 2009. See family-friendly outdoor movies in the heart of Alexandria.

Montgomery County Farm Tour
July 25-26, 2009. Explore local farms and purchase fresh fruits, vegetables, flowers, plants and other local products. Several farms have hayrides, pony rides, music, demonstrations and other fun and educational activities for all ages.

Loudoun County Fair
July 26 - August 1, 2009. Family fun includes a carnival, rodeo-bull riding, dairy show, goat show, horseback demonstrations, magic acts, pet shows, floral exhibits, obstacle courses, tug-of-war, live musical entertainment and more.

Bethesda Chevy Chase Restaurant Week
July 27 - August 2, 2009. Enjoy prix fixe lunch for $12 and dinner menus for $22-$35 at more than 30 Bethesda area restaurants.

Bethesda Outdoor Movies
July 28 - August 1, 2009, 9 p.m. See free outdoor movies in the heart of Bethesda, Maryland.

Redskins Training Camp
July 30-August 8, 2009. Redskins Park, Ashburn, Virginia. Fans are invited to watch the Washington Redskins gear up for the season. August 8 is Fan Appreciation Day.

Happy Birthday TriniDaddy

The absolute best dad, provider, partner, comforter, husband, nurturer turns another year old today!!!

Happy Birthday

TriniDaddy/Hubby!

The Mischiefmakers and I are so blessed to have you in our lives! Muah!!

Let's celebrate!

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog to mourn during MJ Memorial Service

wow...I haven't cried this much during a public TV memorial service since...like...ever. I came close during Princess Diana's and was moved terribly by Mother Theresa and the last Pope. Aye...

I'm going back to the basement with my box of tissues to finish watching the replay with TriniD. I missed the original broadcast on account of being away at an all day workshop with my 3 interns who didn't really appreciate what he meant to us children of the 80s to whom Michael Jackson was more than a Pop Icon, but was a way of life and an everyday norm. You expected him to just be around...staging a come back in the background. Trying to not be too bizarre or cause too much unwanted attention after the fiasco with the last molestation trial. You never expected him to Die. My dad said it best, "They never Last." He was talking about those iconic super talents that everyone love to love. hate. jeer. watch. revere.

The Super Beings. The John Lennons, he said. The JFKs and the Elvis's. The Marilyn Monroes. The Bob Marleys. They are larger than Life and come here to tantilize and entertain us. They are gifts from God. He takes them away just as quickly as they were put here, to experience a meteoric and swift rise to fame and notoriety. It is a humbling lesson to us mortals. We never learn though. So history repeats itself. Again. and Again. So is Life.

Back to the basement for me...here is the CNN coverage for those who missed it and care to relive it....

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Fourth of July Events in the DC Area

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!

Washington DC is a spectacular place to celebrate July 4th! The National Mall, with Washington DC’s monuments and the U. S. Capitol in the background, forms a beautiful and patriotic backdrop to America's Independence Day celebrations. This is an all-day event in the nation's capital, beginning with a parade along Constitution Avenue and ending with a spectacular display of fireworks over the Washington Monument. Following is a guide to all of the 4th of July events on the National Mall.


The 4th of July celebrations in Washington, DC are among the most attended events of the year and many people arrive early to stake out a seat on the lawn. There are plenty of activities scheduled throughout the day to keep the whole family busy.

Getting to the National Mall

The best way to get to the National Mall is to take the Metro. Stations nearby include Metro Center, Gallery Place-Chinatown, Judiciary Square, Federal Triangle and L'Enfant Plaza.The Smithsonian Metro station will be closed on the Fourth.

Public access to the National Mall begins at 10:00 a.m., with all visitors required to enter via a security checkpoint. Read more about getting to the National Mall, public transportation, parking, security and road closures.


Washington, DC’s Independence Day Parade
Parade Start Time: 11:45 a.m.
Parade Route: Constitution Avenue and 7th to 17th Sts.
See a map of the parade route

Washington, DC’s 4th of July Parade features marching bands, military and specialty units, floats, and VIP's. The parade draws a large crowd, so plan to arrive early to stake out a good viewing spot. Read more about the National Independence Day Parade

Smithsonian Folklife Festival
The annual event includes daily and evening music and dance performances, crafts and cooking demonstrations, storytelling and discussions of cultural issues. The themes of the 2009 program will be: Giving Voice: The Power of Words (African American Culture), The Americas and Wales. The hours on the 4th of July are 11 a.m to 5 p.m. Read more about the Smithsonian Folklife Festival.

4th of July at the National Archives
The National Archives celebrates the 4th of July with special family programming celebrating the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Visit the National Archives Building for this special birthday party from 10:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. See the schedule of events.

White House Visitor Center Family Events
Between 9:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m., stop at the White House Visitor Center and enjoy games, crafts and other activities celebrating America's Birthday. National Park Service rangers and volunteers will give you the opportunity to sample the sights, sounds, activities and personages that helped finalize the Declaration of Independence and create the United States of America on July 4, 1776.

Concert on the Washington Monument Grounds
Beginning at 6:00 p.m. the U.S. Army Concert Band and the U.S. Army Band Downrange plays on the Southwest corner of the grounds of the Washington Monument.

A Capitol Fourth Concert
Time: 8 - 9:30 p.m. (Admittance begins at 3 p.m.)
Location: West Lawn of the U. S. Capitol

A 4th of July tradition in the nation's capital includes a live concert by the National Symphony Orchestra and several pop artists performing patriotic music on the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol Building. The concert and show is followed by a spectacular display of fireworks over the Washington Monument. The concert is free and open to the public. No tickets are necessary. The annual event is broadcast live on PBS with a repeat airing at 9:30-11:00 p.m. The concert will also be broadcast over National Public Radio on WAMU - 88.5 FM. See photos of A Capitol Fourth and performers for the 2009 concert.

4th of July Fireworks on the National Mall
Fireworks Time: At dark, usually around 9:15 p.m. Rain Date: July 5th
Launch Location: The fireworks are launched from the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool and light up the sky over the Washington Monument. See Photos of the Fireworks

Best Places to View the National Mall Fireworks

• U. S. Capitol
  
• Lincoln Memorial
  
• Jefferson Memorial
  
• FDR Memorial
  
• East Potomac Park
  
• Anywhere along the National Mall between 14th Street and the Capitol
  
• Aboard a cruise along the Potomac River

Spectacular views of the fireworks can also be seen from the Marine Corps War Memorial (Iwo Jima)in Arlington, Virginia near the Rosslyn Metro station and areas along the Virginia side of the Potomac River that can be reached from George Washington Memorial Parkway. You may park at the Gravely Point parking lot, which is about a quarter mile from the 14th Street Bridge.

IN MARYLAND

National Harbor, Gaylord National Resort, National Harbor, Maryland. Fireworks and summer festival on July 3, 2009. Entertainment begins at 4:30 p.m.
Fireworks at sundown.

Gaithersburg, Montgomery County Fairgrounds, 16 Chestnut Street, Gaithersburg, Maryland. (301) 258-6350. Gates open at 5 p.m. Walk-in at Chestnut or Dalamar Streets; the Perry Parkway entrance will be closed. Entertainment at 7 p.m. Fireworks at dusk.

Rockville, Montgomery College, Rockville Campus, 51 Mannakee Street, Rockville, Maryland. Additional parking will be available at Rockville Town Center. Live entertainment begins at 7 p.m. Fireworks at 9:30 p.m.

Boyds/Germantown, Germantown Soccerplex, 14501 Schaeffer Rd., Boyds, Maryland. (240) 777-6820. Patriotic concert at 7 p.m. and fireworks at 9:30 p.m.

Poolesville, Poolesville Polo Grounds, 14660 Hughes Rd., Poolesville, Maryland. Live music begins at 6 p.m., Fireworks at 9 p.m. Parking is $5 per vehicle. (301) 972-8888.

Kensington/Wheaton Newport Mill Middle School, 11311 Newport Mill Road, Kensington, Maryland. Entertainment begins at 7:30 p.m. and fireworks show will begin approximately 9:15 p.m.

Takoma Park Takoma Park Middle School, 7611 Piney Branch Road, Takoma Park, Maryland. (301) 270-6876. Parade at 10 a.m. at the intersection of Carroll and Ethan Allen Avenues. Fireworks at 9:30 p.m.

College Park University of Maryland, College Park. Parking Lot 1, off Campus Drive near the University Boulevard/Adelphi Road entrance. (301) 864-8877. Food and music start at 7 p.m., with fireworks around 9 p.m.

Six Flags America, Mitchellville, Maryland. (301) 249-1500. The amusement park sponsors a spectacular fireworks display. Enjoy a full day of family entertainment.

Bowie Allen Pond Park, Bowie, Maryland. (301) 809-3078. Entertainment, food and fireworks from 3-10:30 pm.

Bowie Prince George's County Stadium, 4101 NE Crain Hwy, Bowie, Maryland. Fireworks display after the game. For additional information and tickets, call (301) 464-4865.

Greenbelt Buddy Attick Park, 555 Crescent Rd., Greenbelt, Maryland. (301) 397-2200. Entertainment begins at 4 p.m. Fireworks at dusk.

Laurel Granville Gude Park, Laurel Lake, Laurel, Maryland. (301) 725-5300 ext. 44. Parade at 11 a.m. Car show following and Fireworks at dusk.

Frederick, Baker Park, Second and Bentz Streets, Frederick, Maryland. (301) 228-2844. Music on four stages, fireworks and much more.

Columbia, Lake Kittamaquandi, 10221 Wincopin Circle Columbia, Maryland. (410) 740-4545. Music, children's entertainment begins at 5 p.m. Fireworks at 9:30 p.m.

Annapolis, Annapolis City Dock, Annapolis, Maryland. (410) 263-1183. Parade and fireworks: Parade starts at 6 p.m. Fireworks at 9:15 p.m. Parade Route: West Street, around Church Circle, down Main Street to the City Dock. Naval Academy's Concert Band will perform at the end of City Dock just prior to the fireworks.

Baltimore, Inner Harbor, Baltimore, Maryland. A variety of concerts and special events throughout the day. Fireworks at 9:30 p.m.

in VIRGINIA

Falls Church, George Mason High School, 7124 Leesburg Pike, Falls Church, Virginia. Live music will start at 7 p.m. followed by fireworks at 9:30 p.m.

Fairfax City, Independence Day Parade through the downtown area beginning at 10 a.m. Musical entertainment begins at 7 p.m. at Fairfax High School with a spectacular fireworks display at dark. (703) 385-7858.

McLean, Langley High School, 6520 Georgetown Pike McLean, Virginia. (703) 790-0123. Music performances, food, games, and activities for kids. Grounds open at 6 p.m. Fireworks at dark.

Herndon, Herndon Community Center, 814 Ferndale Ave. Herndon, Virginia. (703) 787-7300. Entertainment, clowns, jugglers, food, fireworks at 9:30 p.m.

Reston, Lake Fairfax Park 1400 Lake Fairfax Dr., Reston, Virginia. (703) 471-5415. Fireworks begin around 9:15 p.m.

Leesburg, Ida Lee Park, Rt. 15 (King Street) and Ida Lee Drive, Leesburg, Virginia. (703) 777-1368. Gates open at 6 p.m. Fireworks around 9:30 p.m.

Manassas 9431 West Street, Manassas, Virginia. (703) 335-8872. Enjoy live music, children’s activities, food and fireworks. Entertainment begins at 4 p.m. Fireworks at 9:15 p.m.

King's Dominion, 16000 Theme Park Way, Doswell, Virginia. Independence Day celebrations and fireworks.

Alexandria, Oronoco Bay Park, 100 Madison St., Alexandria, Virginia. Celebrate Alexandria’s Birthday & the USA’s on Saturday, July 11, 2009, 4-10 p.m. Enjoy a concert by the Alexandria Symphony Orchestra at 9 and fireworks at 9:30 p.m.

Mischiefmakers Musings

Scene and Heard:

Scene: Laying on the bed. Lazy Sunday. Watching Toons. Reading the paper. Catching up on the Week.

Cast: Trinidaddy and J Boy AKA Assistant Chief Mischiefmaker (remember that new one, GG, is the new Chief Resident)

TriniDaddy: (Patting his bloated gut from a weekend of overeating and indulging. We had partied it up much for DC Carnival Weekend) Boy, I'm so Fat!!

J-Boy: NOOOOOOO! Dadddy! You're NOT FAT! That's Just YOUR BABY!

HI-LA-RI-OUS!!

Farrah Fawcett Remembered

I loved this post from "Mom in Red Heels" so much that I stoleborrowed it, with permission, via Copyright exception laws! tee hee! This is why people can't trust attorneys! ha

From Tammy author of A Mom in Red Heels...

Farrah Fawcett, a Beauty Icon Remembered

By Tammy | June 25, 2009

I was sad to hear that Farrah Fawcett passed away earlier today. My sadness deepens because she didn’t even get to have her own day of remembrance with the announcement that Michael Jackson also passed away today. So, A Mom in Red High Heels pays tribute to Farrah with what those of us who didn’t know her personally will remember her by: Her Hair. Farrah probably had the most famous hair in the world.

Farrah was a hair icon. Her hairstyle, first made famous in the Seventies withCharlie’s Angels, will forever be know as the “Farrah”. Even today, you can put amodern twist on the style and make it your own. I say, let’s make tomorrow a day to remember Farrah Fawcett (the woman, the actress, the mom), by wearing your hair in the “Farrah” style.

Here’s how to acheive the “Farrah”:

• To achieve texture and volume apply a Volumizing Foam to wet hair
• Blow dry your hair upside down and side to side, using a large paddle brush to achieve volume. A paddle brush smooths the hair
• Flip the front of your hair in an outward-facing direction using a flat-iron (here’s how) or a 1.5 to 2 inch barrel curling iron
• Spritz with a light hairspray
• Smile and work the Farrah!

A modern day Farrah style worn by Whitney Port

My thoughts and prayers go out to her son Redmond O’Neal and her fiance Ryan O’Neal, whom she never got to say “I Do” to.

“In June, O’Neal asked Fawcett to marry him. She accepted his proposal and O’Neal said the wedding would happen “as soon as she can say yes. The two never married” (source).