It's not as if I don't have a ton of work to do, but for a quick comic break, I thought I'd share my 21st century version of some archaic parables and quotes. I do so in honor of today, the 50th anniversary of the inauguration of President John F. Kennedy, Sr. who said famously during his speech, "Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You, Ask What You Can Do For Your Country" to which, the modern flirty girl response is:
1. Ask not what you can do for your country, but what you can do with a reasonable credit limit and a decent layway plan.
Other quotes I just came up with...
2. I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not, because haters are gonna hate!
3. Judge not your fellow woman until you've walked 10 city blocks in her Jimmy Choos.
4. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you, but never do unto your best friend or sibling's ex because it can get messy.
5. When life deals you lemons, squeeze them into a jar of maple syrup and make a Beyonce lemonade fast drink out of it.
6. A lie gets halfway around the Twitterverse before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
7. Wise men say only fools rush in, which sucks for wise men because I'd rather be a fool than an old hag.
8. Men never plan to be failures at coordinating their suits and ties; they simply fail because they are color blind.
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