did I ever mentioned that the wild life in and around our home terrorizes us? Yeah.
- I just got home from the Smoothie King which closes at midnight trying to do some work away from the distraction of home life (I can't resist stop working to tend to a crying baby or child). I meet Trinihubby laying on the guest bed catching the evening news. Just then I see some ginormous bug scamper along the wall and I squeal, causing my hubby to jump. He then reports that he had just tried to kill a bug and before he could get it, the bug fought back and tried to attack him! WTF? How are you a 1 1/2 inch bug going to try to pick a fight with a 6foot tall man? crazy bugs!
- And there is not a week that goes by that I am not awakened by some critter hiking across my chest or leg on its way to the other side of the room. I wake up with a new bug bite or rash all the time. You can't keep them out. Our boys can't seem to keep the screen door shut and besides they are small enough to find some small hole to sneak in thru anyway.
- A month ago, I was in the dining room and heard my burly hubby shriek and run inside the house, victim of the psycho raccoon who accosted him demanding some food. That thing is not afraid of humans and somehow thinks we are living on his property and not the other way around. That crazy vermin gets in a fight with the neighbor's cat and our friendly neighborhood HedgeHog that lives in the uprooted tree pit in our backyard. He had a busted nose the other day and last week I saw him limping around. He needs to stop trying to fight all the other animals on the block and he'll be okay.
- I had to go to the car to get something out the other night and I swear it was a friggin scene out of a horror movie. I just heard this grrrrrowl and snarl and had to scamper in the car and shut myself in. You should've seen me looking all around and squinting my eyes towards the dark bushes to see if I could catch a glimpse of whatever the hell was making that scary ass noise. After collecting my headphones, I scurried back into the house fearful that whatever it was that was snarling would come after me.
- Any random night, our security light goes on at least twice while various night critters trek across our property while doing their nocturnal scrummage through garbage pails and digging up of people's gardens. We're gonna have to get a padlock from Home Depot to keep them creatures out of our trash cans!
- One morning a month after dropping off the kids, I'll have to slow down and drive around the family of dear chilling in the middle of the road like they're in the middle of Sherwood Forest somewhere and not human populate suburbia. Hrmph! They're lucky they live in my neighborhood and not some other (unammed) country, where somebody would've mowed them down in their car and served the whole family for dinner that evening, with plenty of leftovers to last a week.
It's true. I live inside the movie "
Over the Hedge". It was funny when I watched it on cable, but somehow, with all this nature suffocating me in my own home, it's not that funny anymore. :S
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