BabyCenter.com has an interesting article about the top 7 things Moms/Parents feel guilty about. It goes through each of these following guilt-trips, dissects it and then offers a solution or remark to make you not feel so bad.
1. Feeding your baby formula
2. Using TV as a babysitter
3. Being environmentally unfriendly
4. Feeding your kids junk food
5. Leaving your child with another caregiver
6. Yelling at your kids
7. Not being able to afford all the extras
I'd like to add, my own personal guilt
8. Spending more time with one child than another. yes Jboy and Cboy, these days, I've just been preoccupied with raising GG that I've let TriniD take the reigns with the boys and I am just now starting to devote mommy and me time with each of the boys.
9. Not enrolling one child in an extra because of lack of time, money or energy and feeling you are depriving one child over another. Sorry Jboy, we promise as soon as things settle down, we'll get you in some programs like Cboy is in. It's just all so overwhelming right now and our lives are just so up in the air and uncertain right now.
10. working on work after work, while your children are in the home entertaining themselves with toys or the tv or video games or something else. I really need to learn to just stop whatever project (home or work wise) that I am working on when the boys come home and spend those 2 hours before dinner and bedtime on them and let the other stuff wait until after they go to bed, but by the time we're done with the ritual, I am so beat these days.
11. Not using most of your free time with the kids to do something instructional. I feel like when I do spend time with the boys, it's not enough to just be playing a game or watching Science programs with them or going for a walk with them, that I should be doing something educational to expand their brains. They are such sponges and absorb everything and are curious about learning so I feel bad that as a mom, I don't take every opportunity to feed them fodder for their brains.
I suppose given the circumstances and such I am doing a great job compared to many others and my kids are pretty privileged compared to most in America and the world so...it's just my type A behavior, combined with the stuff I read and sometimes hear from other moms in my circle, makes it hard to just appreciate that what I/we are doing is indeed enough.
I don't remember who told me that the transition from two to three children would be easier than from one to two, because he/she lied!
4 comments:
We're not stalking you, but wanted to drop in and tell you we read your post. We have a Google alert set up, so when someone posts about Mommy Guilt, we like to pop over and read. Glad we did, because many of the extra guilts you added to the list, are common to other moms (and some dads too). So common in fact we included them in our book, "Mommy Guilt." We're not here trying hawk a sale for the book, it's available in most public libraries. Just wanted to let you know our book addresses many of the guilts you listed and offers ideas to deal with them. The guilt never goes away, but we do try to encourage parents to ditch it when it gets in the way of enjoying your parenthood and kids. Hope it's okay we stopped by and we hope you'll catch up with us on our blog too! : )
Also, if you are going to BlogHer, we'll be there too!
It sounds like you are a caring and thoughtful mom, just going through a hectic time. If you like BabyCenter, I hope you'll stop over at the Momformation blog on the site. I'm one of several Momformation contributors. We touch on a bit of this and a bit of that. There's always a post that will make you laugh, cry or think.
Also, coincidentally, I'm rooming with Devra and Aviva at the BlogHer conference. I don't follow them aroudn the web, though. I've subscribed to your feeds.
Thanks for the encouraging words and comments guys. Devra and aviva, I'm off to check out your book.
Kewl@ Kim on the momformation info too. I love our online network of information sharing. Thank you for the link. See you around. :D
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