sometimes it's just best to keep your mouth shut

well when it comes to traffic accidents and stops, we've learned that it is expensive, costly and sometimes dangerous to speak up.

I had to feel the sting of this truism this morning when I went to defend a traffic ticket at appeals court.

I got a ticket for failing to stop at a stop sign last summer. I went to court. When the judge came up, he explained that if you plead guilty, we would get this thing called "probation without judgment" and just have to pay the fine and won't be issued any points. Well me, not having ever gotten any moving violations or tickets or points in the 18 years I've been driving thought, "hell no am I pleading guilty when I know well I stopped." Well that was a big mistake! I had a mini trial after all the ppl pleading guilty had long paid their tickets and gone on their merry ways. Of course, the judge sided with the cop and now not only had I had to pay the fine but I had a GUILTY VERDICT AND POINTS. I appealed that case, hired a lawyer and in the end, this morning, the appeal judge gave me the same sentence "probation without judgment" as offered by the District court, but my dumb butt had to pay a lawyer and an appeal fee! ARRRGH!!!
SOMETIMES, I NEED TO JUST LEARN TO GO WITH THE FLOW AND REALIZE THAT YOU DON'T ALWAYS HAVE RIGHTS OR NEED TO SPEAK UP.

Obviously, I didn't learn from the prior cases when speaking up and declaring to the world that I was a lawyer or knew my rights helped me (or my hubby out)

case example: #1 We got in a minor fender bender in 1999 and I opened my big mouth and let the other driver know i was a lawyer. BIG MISTAKE. Because of that she felt compelled to get her own lawyer when we could have settled it amongst ourselves.

case example #2: during a visit to the Baltimore Caribbean festival in 2003, the Baltimore vice squad busted some vendors selling bootleg cds and dvds. Somehow, Trinihubby got caught in the fray trying to defend one of the women who was arrested. He asked one cop for his badge number and next thing you know, there were 4 or 5 cops beating him and taking him down like a DOG! Cboy was just a baby then like 1 year old and had to witness that all! He just knew he had the right to request that information, but unfortunately, that is not the case when in Baltimore. The cop had a history of misconduct and we hired a lawyer and got the case eventually dropped, but not after some loss of liberty and funds. *sigh*

I am challenged thus to have to train C-boy and J-boy and even GG that there are certain times when you speak up and times when you just defer to the cops because there are too many opportunities for cops to abuse their power and damage them. For black and brown kids, especially, that is a very very harsh reality.

Just recently, my baby sister reported being harassed by cops when she and her friends decided to attend a roller rink in a predominantly white part of the town they live in. She was threatened to be thrown in jail simply because she asked was there really a need for more cops to be called to the rink because she and her friends were there!!! So, that tells me, it doesn't matter that she is a girl, she could easily be given a rough as treatment as a boy if they want.

Trinihubby was pulled over this past Saturday and given a very vague ticket and charged for aggressive driving, when he asked if he could read the ticket, the cop told him to "SHUT UP AND SIGN"!!! When he came home, I hate that I did it, but I had to blame the victim and tell him, "don't you know you don't have rights to speak up!? You didn't learn a thing from the 2003 Baltimore incident???"

It's sad. :(

*BIG BIG SIGH*