Meet the neighbors

I have lived in my quaint "Mayberry" type neighborhood for over 5 years now and only once was invited over someone's home. I never made the attempt to initiate a gesture of reaching out b/c I thought it was an unfair burden that the minority must bear the pressure of stepping out of the comfort zone. I have done so all my life as thus is life in America, but the undue stress is unfair. Besides, I didn't used to get good vibes from some neighbors who I think may have been uncomfortable with us for some unknown reason. *shrug*

Anyway, this Saturday marked my forray into the second time as I was invited to a ladies night out with some of the women from the neighborhood by a woman who's boys go to Mischiefmaker#1's school.

I brought along a plate of wings and some funky sauce I whipped up last minute and got there a few minutes after it started.

First off, I was pleasantly surprised to see a good mix of women of varying backgrounds but who all shared common similarities: (1) we are married to men; (2) moms; (3) to natural born children. I point this out, because there is a good deal of parents to adopted children and same-sex parents in our Mayberry, but I did not see any of them represented.

I was anxious that I'd see the same people who'd pass by my home on their way to the park and do their best to avoid looking in our direction bc they didn't want to say hi to us. Indeed, I was jaded by my experience of feeling isolated and unwanted and I did not want to be on the defensive.

It was a wonderful evening which may be repeated on a monthly basis and we will have monthly playdates with the same group at the neighborhood park.

What helped tremendously was that the host is a former school teacher and she had arranged several ice breakers throughout the night which forced people to mingle not just amongst who they knew or was comfortable with, but with others in the room.

I did make it a point to tell all new persons I met where I lived and several of them admitted passing by my home on their way to the park. Aha. I may have been talking to some culprits after all. I told everyone in a sticky sweet but still cheeky way, "now don't forget to wave if you ever see us during your walk. We don't bite". hahaha. I'm setting myself to not be invited again, huh?

Overall, I had a FANTABLOUS time and I am so happy I let down my guard and attended with an open mind. The true test will come when I later see these same folks at the park, in the grocery store and on the street. I will always smile and I do hope they will return the smile and not forget who I am. My husband gets reintroduced to the same folks over and over again who forget they had met him before. Really, there are like 5 black families total in our entire neighborhood and I'm certain only one that looks like TriniD and the boys, but that is another story. It's so hard to get rid of a chip on your shoulder after carrying it around for so long. We need time, but we're getting there...