I had an opportunity meet Kiri Davis at the Minority Media and Telecommunications Council Access to Capital conference this Monday. I am a board member of this organization. We honored her with an award for community service during a reception.
She is the 18 year old producer phenom who produced a documentary "Girl Like Me" when she was 16. It's won dozens of film festival awards and was the talk of the Internet. It's debuted on HBO and all. It talks about black girls and the problems with skin and hair color acceptance and rejection in America. It shows to America that the effect of popular culture, television and acculturation in America is teaching our children that to be white is to be good and right and to be black and dark is bad.
The video ends with a reply of the Clark Doll Study that was the basis for the decision in Brown v. Board of Education that ended segregation of schools. In the original experiment from the 1940s, black children were given a black doll and a white doll, and then asked which one they thought was better. Overwhelmingly, they chose the white doll. Watch and you'll be surprised by the results of the study in the new millennium. It is a wake up call and proves to those skeptics who say it doesn't matter how negative the images of colored people are on television. It proves that children know that they are not valued and they are more intuitive than adults and policy makers give them credit for...
I'd seen the video before and performed the same test on Caleb using the pieces from the Chutes and Ladders game. Out of 4 game pieces, Caleb chose the white piece each time. Even when I showed him the fuggly red-headed piece, he hesitated b/c he knew the piece wasn't too appealing, but still chose it over the brown piece. When I asked him after the test, which piece looked most like him, he chose the brown one. So he knew good and well he was rejecting to be the piece that most resembled himself.
I cried again after seeing the video again Monday. After she received her award from the organization, I shared with Kiri that her test was one of the several reasons I'm looking to move into a more diverse neighborhood. Dave and I noticed that he is shy at the playground when it is full of all white kids. He'll say, "there's older kids here and refuse to go play.
We took him to Watkins park, a county park situated in an upper/middle class neighborhood where most of the kids playing were multicultural and despite the fact there were older kids there, Caleb felt comfortable to let loose, roam free and make friends. We could sense he was at ease and felt more open to be himself.
It was an eye opener for us and b/c the timing of this discovery was about the same time as his horrible failing of the self-love doll test, we were more convinced than ever to move from our 98% white neighborhood.
Here is the video A Girl Like Me
7 comments:
Good for you!!!!! I saw that video last year and I immediately forwarded to al my friends. I have a little boy, too. He's one and everyday my husband and I tell him how how beautiful and handsome and wonderful he is. I bought the book, Pretty Brown Face, to read to him. It has a mirror on the last page and he loves it. His daycare is predominately black but there are only two other black families in our neighborhood. Once he leaves my house and goes into the world, there will be so many people telling him that he is less than. I hope the lessons that I am teaching him at home will help him negate the bad remarks of the outside world.
I have not seen that movie but I will look it up when I go home tonight. Personally speaking, I was raised to always be proud of who I was,no matter the color of my skin or the kinkiness of my hair. In addition, I was educated and raised both in a multicultural environment and in a predominately black one (parents house vs. grandparents house). even with all of that I have often found myself perplexed and personally affected by this harsh reality. For one, I was never black enough or street enough for the peeps in my hood, or white enough and preppy enough for my fellow alumni., just kind of stuck in the middle. For two, darker skinned people, even family members, turned their nose up at me because they assumed that I would be a certain type of person based on my skin color and hair texture. Three, I've always wished that my skin color was darker, just so that I could fit in. I never, however, wished to be white, lol.
btw - you have just inspired my next blog post, check it out in a day or so.
anon, we have "Pretty Brown Face"! my eldest son loved loved that book. we read it to him every night when he was younger. Perhaps we need to dust it off. Good for you too with your positive affirmation. We had been doing the same but now realize this is a lifelong daily/weekly thing that cannot stop once we get comfortable.
wasac2k7v, hey momma! The link to the video is at the bottom of this site. I hope you found it nonetheless. It is a remarkable piece of work. Thanks for sharing the other end of the perspective. The video touches on that side slightly as well. I can't wait to read your post. I'm glad I could inspire someone. :D That is an added plus to some posts.
Thanks for your comments guys!
I am tired of viewing negative portrayals of us in the mass media. Tired of it! It not only effects our children, but also how other cultures see us. I live in a very affluent community where blacks make up 1% of the population. I was furious when a white kid suggested my son didn't act black. What the hell is that?! He went on to say he needed to visit the ghetto to get some true black blood. With shows airing such as dances from da hood, hollyhood, college hill, etc,. They will continue to think we are one dimensional when we are so much more than that. I make it a point that my kids read books by authors and people who look like them. They have a brown skin doctor and dentist because they need to see people like us in positive roles. I was pissed off when my mother-in-law said she couldn't stand That's so Raven because she was fake and that she refused to allow her grandchildren to watch it, but will let them watch every booty shaking video and shows like the Parkers. I guess cause they keepin it real. It's so sad that some of us have embraced those images and refuse to believe that we all don't act like we have a lack of home training. Long gone are the Cosby and Different World days. When we saw our kind of people as doctors, lawyers, and college students. I'm sorry to go on about this but this post struck a cord.
traci, I wish I could find a pediatrician that was black. I asked around when I pregnant about black pediatricans and no one could give me a recommendation. But my dermatologist is black. Even though she is not in my network and not covered by my insurance, i feel its important to support and go to someone who understands black skin. I want my son to get used to seeing blacks in professional settings. In regards to our skin/hair issues, sometimes our own people are the worst offenders. I have very full lips and I remember being called all kinds of names by black kids in school (this was before full lips were in vogue). My ant used to relax or jheri curl my hair to within an inch of its lfe to make it "act right". When I was pregnant, I finally said screw it and went natural. Even though I flat iron it for work purposes, its gets affected by the humidity and I STILL get family members asking me what's wrong with my hair or why didn't I do my hair today. At 33, I can ignore them and go on my merry way but as a child/teen I would have ben devastated.
JJ
I too saw that video and was devastated. Growing up I was one of the darker kids in my very large family and even though I was teased, I always felt a sort of comfort in my skin, I think because it was one of the things that I had in common with my father whom I lost at an early age. Plus growing up in the Caribbean you deal with a different beast.
Recently, however, to be more specific for Christmas I was out shopping with my mom and my 5 year old daughter, who also has a beautiful chocolate skin that her father and I compliment her on ALL THE TIME (our chocolate kiss), she has what my poor grandmother calls "good" hair - dougla hair (ask the hubby ; ), it annoys me when people in this day and age are still asking "where she get that good hair from" I told one woman Mimi's Hair Supply. Anyway, we're shopping and I'm telling her to pick a doll as I guide her towards the cute black barbie - NO!! A firm NO, mammy I want the other one. Well don't you want one that's as pretty and chocolaty as you? NO. Well here I was thinking that we were doing something by reinforcing all the good things about our baby, but yet just in her little life experiences with the outside world she already feels white is better (she said that - mammy the white one is prettier).
Well after several talks from us (her dad especially, because I think girls that age believes what daddy says more) she's now asking for all types of dolls but the selections are few and the negative reinforcement from society is still there so it's a battle that we can't put on a side burner.
All my doctors, dentist included are black and for the most part women. My daughter's doctor even has beautiful silver grey dreads, so I try to surround her with examples.
JJ sorry for the long post, put this topic always sets me off.
traci, no i feel you. i don't understand why Raven would be fake. i know more families like Raven's than the Parkers. tsk. tsk. to your mom-in-law and great thing about your doc and dentist. i ought to think about that.
anon 6:13, you are so right about we being the worst offenders. i've heard it all too growing up and i had so many friends obsess over light skinned and good hair. i'm so happy to be in my 30s,but those angst filled teen and 20s are wide open for damaging our self esteem. what to do for the babies?
like what you went through triniprincess with your daughter. it doesn't matter what you tell them, the outside world and media is so powerful and we are just a few people comparatively. it's so much work. my mom-in-law was so messed up by the concept growing up (all her brothers had so called "good" hair and she and her sisters had "negro" hair according to the elders) she made sure to raise her boys praising all skin and hair types as beautiful and raise her boys in the church and to appreciate brown and African features and beauty, it really rubbed off on my hubby. She is my role model and I want to raise my boys like she did.
i'm glad i can have at least one political post to move you all to post! i love it! thanks for the discourse!
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